When is twenty miles per hour freakin’ fast? When you’re strapped inside a harness and propel through the air across a zipline. Yes, that’s a picture of me a week ago. Can anyone scream, “Ahhhhh!”

Well, I didn’t. I wanted to, but once I stepped off the platform, it all became surreal, like watching a character from an adventure flick. I felt like Tarzan (or perhaps Jane?), although I was simply a business owner, leading a team of other would-be-adventurers.

You can learn much about leadership from ziplining. Here are some zippity-fast lessons:

Thinking about it is worse than doing it.

As one of my participants shared, thinking about it was the most challenging part about ziplining. Before we arrived at Snow Snake Mountain, we laughed about the potential dangers ahead, though we secretly carried around some level of anxiety. When I asked everyone how nervous they were on a scale of 1 to 10, all were at an 8 or higher. After the experience, however, we all agreed that perception was worse than reality. Ziplining was not only fun, but also easier than we had thought.

So leader, when you consider an upcoming project or idea, or when you contemplate some changes you might make, remember this: It’s probably not as difficult or scary as you imagine.

The first step off is always the hardest.

We zipped across ten lines. At each new line, we would step onto the platform and then hook our cable onto the line. Did I mention that the platform was teeny? Barely enough room for my feet to stand on? And did I mention that you can’t help but look down when standing on that platform? Thankfully, I don’t suffer from vertigo! But once on the platform, the only real next step was to jump off (that, or back out, hanging my head down like a dog, listening to the taunts of the group).

Similarly, when trying to accomplish a goal, the first step is often the hardest. Refusing to take that first step (because it’s the hardest) is what keeps us stuck. For example, I had a client who wanted to make a career change, but in a sea of choices, couldn’t bring herself to do anything. Rather, she preferred to analyze and re-hash every option available to her. Upon prodding, however, she finally decided to take the first step—setting up informational meetings with those whose careers most interested her. From there, everything careened along smoothly.

Baby-step it if you must.

When I saw the first of the ten lines we would zipline, I thought, “You’ve got to be kidding me. I’m paying for this? This is for babies.” It was a short line, no more than ten feet off the ground. By the time I got to the sixth line, when we were eighty feet off the ground, I thought, “You’ve got to be kidding me. I’m a big baby. Did I really pay for this?” Strategically, the instructor had us do the “baby-line” first as to increase our confidence.

Baby-stepping is a great way to build your self-confidence. Suppose you have a game-changing plan for your company or team. While big-picture-thinking is essential, it can also be paralyzing and overwhelming. So what’s a small, first step you can take? Too often we give up too soon (or never step off the platform to begin with) because we envision a monumental outcome—one that seems destined for failure. Break up that idea or project into small steps, and a successful outcome will be much more likely.

Your team is waiting on you.

Several participants of my passion, purpose, and legacy group coaching program accompanied me. If truth be told, I wasn’t sure about ziplining. Sure, it was on my bucket list, but I was nowhere near ready to kick the bucket!

When I stood on the platform to fly across the first line, I hesitated. (Okay, I hesitated on at least half of them.) I was under pressure. People were waiting in line for their turn. It was either jump or get pushed off the edge by thrill-seeking daredevils.

You have people, too, who are waiting for you to lead. So jump. If you don’t, they may push you aside so they can experience the thrill that awaits. And who can lead if there is no team?

So are you ready to leap?

Perhaps you need more convincing. Next week, read part 2 with four more zip-line leadership lessons. Until then, I’d love to hear your personal experiences in having applied some of the lessons above. You can put them in the box below.

Blah, blah, blah, blah….  It’s so easy to talk, to ramble on about our thoughts, our ideas, our concerns, our beliefs, our demands.  We are expert ramblers, monopolizers of conversations, hijackers of others’ time, often unaware of how we project ourselves, and worse, frequently indifferent to others’ views.  Listening, on the other hand, not only shows that you value the other person’s humanity but also is the key to getting the results you want, whether the result be a change in someone’s perspective, an agreement in your favor, or a strengthened relationship. 

While we all know the importance of listening, it’s easy to forget that there are certain strategies for listening that when implemented will help you to create true dialogue and an increased likelihood of achieving the outcome you seek.  Here are seven of those strategies.

Determine what you want. 

Determining what you want ahead of time is necessary for conversations that are critical, because you know that one direction or another will lead you either away from or toward your goal.  For example, if you decide upfront that you want an enjoyable conversation that results in a closer relationship with a friend or colleague, then you will know to listen for opportunities to share and connect on a similar level.  On a parallel note, if you are engaged in conversation with your boss, and you desire a promotion, you will listen with a critical ear in regards to whether it is the right timing, what your boss thinks of you, what he or she values in an employee, what opportunities are available, and what the vision is for the company.  Thus, determining what you want will help you to ask the right questions and to listen carefully.

Focus on the other person. 

Nobody likes talking to somebody whose eyes glaze over, lost in his own thoughts, or a person who’s fidgeting with her pen.  If you want someone to truly feel heard, and consequently understood, then give that person your full attention.  Don’t become distracted by what else is going on in the room or even by your own opinions.  I love the Bible verse in the book of James about being “quick to listen, slow to speak.”  You will have plenty of time to formulate what you want to say later.  Focus and really listen.

Show interest. 

Use eye contact to show you’ve connected to the person speaking.  Encourage them to continue speaking by giving an occasional “uh-huh.”  Smile, nod, laugh.  Show that you value what they have to say, and they are more likely to listen to you.

Observe body language. 

Someone once said, “If you feel like no one is listening to you, learn a new language.”  Listen to what’s not being said by examining the speaker’s body language.  And better yet, match theirs.  We’ve all heard how body language, depending on the study, accounts for 80-90 percent of language.  Think of the tremendous amount of data you can gather simply by observing gestures, facial expressions, and posture.  Is he frowning, smirking, or avoiding eye contact?  Is she hunched over as if exhausted and frazzled?  When appropriate, match their body language.  If you’re both sitting at a table and he leans forward while speaking (which generally means he’s comfortable with you), then you should lean forward as well to intensify the connection.

Paraphrase what the person said. 

Of course you don’t want to paraphrase every response of the person speaking—that would only be annoying.  However, it is very appropriate, and useful, to occasionally do so.  Paraphrasing helps you to clarify what the other person said, and gives him or her the opportunity to clear up any misunderstandings.  Paraphrasing also confirms that you understand, and bottom line—people want to feel understood.

Ask questions. 

 If you want to achieve results by listening, then ask open-ended questions.  Asking open-ended questions (not simply “yes/no” questions) shows the other person that you’re interested in what he or she has to say, as well as allows you to gain additional, often vital information prior to your response.  The open-ended question is one of the best tools I use with my coaching clients for drawing out the pertinent, revealing information that will help them to ultimately achieve their goals. 

Use silence. 

Rarely do we enjoy silence in a conversation. We begin to feel flustered, worried that we may bore our audience.  So we find ways to fill the gap in dialogue.  Using silence, however, encourages the speaker to continue talking, to explore other ideas, to expand on previous ones.  Basically, when you allow silence to be a tool at your disposal, you will hear more, and on a deeper level.  You prove that you truly care about that person’s beliefs, values, ideas, and concerns.

Remember that the key to getting results is not merely to talk, but to listen, and listen well.  People want to feel valued, appreciated, respected, and liked.  Mostly, they want to feel understood.  You can make that happen.  If they believe that you regard them in these ways, they are more apt to hear you out.  And better yet, when it’s your turn, you will know what to say.