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Blue Bridge Leadership

Executive Coaching, Career Coaching, Training, Leadership Development, Professional Development

5 Ways Prayer Can Transform Your Life

August 28, 2012 By Kimberly

Coffee and prayer. Like cookies and milk. Simplicity and perfection wrapped up together. Most of my mornings start out with a read from the Bible or devotional, a hot mug of coffee, and quiet time spent in prayer and reflection.

Not always, but most.

I have not always been the best pray-er—too busy for God, too tired for an honest one-on-one, too frustrated from the daily complications of life. But over the last two years, I have tried to make prayer a priority. And the more I’ve incorporated prayer, the greater peace and sense of purpose I’ve had. Specifically, I have discovered that prayer can transform lives in at least five ways:

Prayer humbles us.

It’s all about me. You knew that, right? Oh wait. I bet it’s all about you. We all have a tendency to believe this way, even if we don’t say it outright. Think about it. How many times in a conversation do you say the word “I?” I bet all our thoughts somehow relate to us, right? Or am I the only one?

I love how prayer humbles us. When I pray, I pray for my children, my extended family, my business associate who has cancer, my neighbor who just had back surgery, the impoverished of my city. Prayer humbles me when I reflect on others: their desires, their needs, their hurts, their stumbling blocks. Prayer offers me a way to get beyond myself to others, and to what really matters most.  

Prayer engages us.

Prayer engages me to my Father. When I ask my kids, “Would you think that I loved you if I never spent time with you? If I never spoke to you?” Of course the answer is “No!” It’s the same way with prayer. When I pray, I am speaking to God. I am engaging with Him intimately. He is not distant. I can communicate with and relate to Him on a personal level. How freeing to know that I am so loved!

 Prayer ignites us.

Prayer ignites reverence and passion. Prayer reminds me of not just His goodness and mercy, but His holiness. He inspires awe. Similarly, the act of a simple prayer produces passion—for His people, for His purposes, for Himself. Like a fiery spark that spreads, prayer stirs my heart in so many different life areas: my career, my relationships, my mission, and my values.

Prayer aligns us.

I admit I want to do things my way. I find that prayer, however, shifts my perspective to God’s perspective. His ways become my ways. His purposes become my purposes. Prayer aligns us to Him. When I don’t pray, I start walking away, taking the detour from the path God has laid out for me. When I do pray, I see how far I’ve strayed, and I can’t help but run back into His arms.

Prayer grows us.

Prayer isn’t just about speaking. It’s not a litany of requests or pleas for help. Prayer may be more about listening. Those who stop talking and start listening are those who learn and grow the most. God has so much to say back to us—if only we would shut our mouths and quiet our hearts. When is the last time you’ve set aside a substantial amount of time to not only talk but to listen?

He’s speaking to you. Are you willing to hear?

Filed Under: Faith and Spirituality, Purposeful Living, Relationships

Zipline-Style Leadership: Screaming “Ahhhhh!” and Loving It (Part 2)

August 21, 2012 By Kimberly

So last time I talked about the first four lessons about zipline-style leadership based on my personal ziplining experience in my group coaching program “Discover Your Passions, Live Your Purpose, Leave Your Legacy.” (Yep, that’s me getting ready!) Here they are:

  1. Thinking about it is worse than doing it.
  2. The first step off is always the hardest.
  3. Baby-step it if you must.
  4. Your team is waiting on you.

Now, here are four more lessons:

New view, new perspective.

Well, it’s worth repeating: It really is hard to see the forest for the trees. Walking along the path until we reached each line, I couldn’t help but witness the quiet, majestic beauty of trees. They stood upright like soldiers, branches swaying in the gentle breeze, their feet planted firmly in the moss-covered earth. Eighty feet up was a different story. No longer did the trees grab my attention, but I sought out the curve of the valleys, the wildlife hiding amongst the brush, the possibility of a stream.

Sure, I’m asking the obvious, but what are the trees of your life, the ones you’re standing so close to that you can’t see the bigger picture? And if you were standing atop the mountain of your career (or life, for that matter), what would be your view? Do you need a fresh perspective? Do you need to get out of the trenches and climb high so you can see? 

Play it safe, and you’ll miss out.

Ironically, my brand is about adventurous leadership and adventurous living because I want—no, need—to have a no-excuse reason to get out of my comfort zone so I can pursue personal and professional excellence. Did you get that? No excuse. I’ve lots of excuses, and probably so do you, why I should play it safe.

Yet, playing it safe can actually be a form of failure. Were I to have played it safe, I would have stayed home and missed the rush. Have fun everyone else! Let me know how your adventure goes! Wish I could (ahem) join you!

Opportunities only present themselves when you’re looking, when you’re willing to truly see, when you’re willing to step outside your box—regardless of risk—to experience life and work anew.

A higher, more thrilling adventure awaits.

Once the zip tour was over, I was ready for something bigger and better. Zipline? Puh-lease! That’s nothing! I’m ready for bungee jumping. Well, maybe not bungee jumping, but parasailing perhaps?

Likewise, one risk leads to the next, and soon enough you’ve become an adventurous leader, in the workplace or otherwise. Don’t settle for good enough; strive for excellence. Keep seeking, because great rewards are always around the corner.

The ride is fast.

The one disappointment from ziplining is that the ride is too fast. Before you know it, it’s time to go home. Yes, the thrill and challenge was satisfying, but too soon the adventure was over.

Your career adventure will be over before you know it too. Are you taking enough risk? Are you confronting the challenges? Are you basking in the rewards? Are you making the most use of your time? Leadership is part of your overall legacy. Where are you going? Who are you taking along for the ride? And for what ultimate purpose?

So there you have it: Leadership—zipline-style. Unfortunately, you can only learn so much from my experiences. Really, you’ve got to get out and explore for yourself.

Your comments and ideas? Put them in the box below.

Filed Under: Career, Leadership, Purposeful Living, Relationships

Zip-Line Style Leadership: Screaming “Ahhhh!” and Loving It (Part 1)

August 14, 2012 By Kimberly

When is twenty miles per hour freakin’ fast? When you’re strapped inside a harness and propel through the air across a zipline. Yes, that’s a picture of me a week ago. Can anyone scream, “Ahhhhh!”

Well, I didn’t. I wanted to, but once I stepped off the platform, it all became surreal, like watching a character from an adventure flick. I felt like Tarzan (or perhaps Jane?), although I was simply a business owner, leading a team of other would-be-adventurers.

You can learn much about leadership from ziplining. Here are some zippity-fast lessons:

Thinking about it is worse than doing it.

As one of my participants shared, thinking about it was the most challenging part about ziplining. Before we arrived at Snow Snake Mountain, we laughed about the potential dangers ahead, though we secretly carried around some level of anxiety. When I asked everyone how nervous they were on a scale of 1 to 10, all were at an 8 or higher. After the experience, however, we all agreed that perception was worse than reality. Ziplining was not only fun, but also easier than we had thought.

So leader, when you consider an upcoming project or idea, or when you contemplate some changes you might make, remember this: It’s probably not as difficult or scary as you imagine.

The first step off is always the hardest.

We zipped across ten lines. At each new line, we would step onto the platform and then hook our cable onto the line. Did I mention that the platform was teeny? Barely enough room for my feet to stand on? And did I mention that you can’t help but look down when standing on that platform? Thankfully, I don’t suffer from vertigo! But once on the platform, the only real next step was to jump off (that, or back out, hanging my head down like a dog, listening to the taunts of the group).

Similarly, when trying to accomplish a goal, the first step is often the hardest. Refusing to take that first step (because it’s the hardest) is what keeps us stuck. For example, I had a client who wanted to make a career change, but in a sea of choices, couldn’t bring herself to do anything. Rather, she preferred to analyze and re-hash every option available to her. Upon prodding, however, she finally decided to take the first step—setting up informational meetings with those whose careers most interested her. From there, everything careened along smoothly.

Baby-step it if you must.

When I saw the first of the ten lines we would zipline, I thought, “You’ve got to be kidding me. I’m paying for this? This is for babies.” It was a short line, no more than ten feet off the ground. By the time I got to the sixth line, when we were eighty feet off the ground, I thought, “You’ve got to be kidding me. I’m a big baby. Did I really pay for this?” Strategically, the instructor had us do the “baby-line” first as to increase our confidence.

Baby-stepping is a great way to build your self-confidence. Suppose you have a game-changing plan for your company or team. While big-picture-thinking is essential, it can also be paralyzing and overwhelming. So what’s a small, first step you can take? Too often we give up too soon (or never step off the platform to begin with) because we envision a monumental outcome—one that seems destined for failure. Break up that idea or project into small steps, and a successful outcome will be much more likely.

Your team is waiting on you.

Several participants of my passion, purpose, and legacy group coaching program accompanied me. If truth be told, I wasn’t sure about ziplining. Sure, it was on my bucket list, but I was nowhere near ready to kick the bucket!

When I stood on the platform to fly across the first line, I hesitated. (Okay, I hesitated on at least half of them.) I was under pressure. People were waiting in line for their turn. It was either jump or get pushed off the edge by thrill-seeking daredevils.

You have people, too, who are waiting for you to lead. So jump. If you don’t, they may push you aside so they can experience the thrill that awaits. And who can lead if there is no team?

So are you ready to leap?

Perhaps you need more convincing. Next week, read part 2 with four more zip-line leadership lessons. Until then, I’d love to hear your personal experiences in having applied some of the lessons above. You can put them in the box below.

Filed Under: Career, Leadership, Purposeful Living, Relationships

Who Wears the Pants in Your Organization?

July 24, 2012 By Kimberly

My husband doesn’t wear the pants in our family; rather he wears my pants in the family. Okay, no need to drop your jaw. It’s not like I came home one day to find him frolicking with my clothes or trying on…well, never mind.

No. We were having an ordinary conversation when all of a sudden he turned and bent over to grab his wallet. I recognized the pockets! Thankfully, they weren’t my rhinestone-doo-dadded jeans, but the ones with the yellow swirls on the pocket flaps.

Sure, we share socks or old tee-shirts sometimes, especially for painting or gardening, but never jeans. I’m especially mortified that they fit him! You should know that I’m not overweight and he’s not particularly a skinny guy, so quite frankly I’m puzzled. I laughed and told him to “drop your drawers.”  

You’re wondering what this has to do with leadership. It’s a stretch (pun intended), but here goes:

Different pants for different folks.

Some of us prefer plain Levis, others the flashy kind. Similarly, we all have different leadership styles. None of them are perfect, and they all have their benefits and drawbacks. The key is to recognize the kind that fits you and to be aware that other styles befit certain roles within the organization. Yes, we can all get along, if we don’t try to make our pants fit the other person.

Try out a new style; you might like it.

I don’t prefer the kind of jeans that flare at the bottom. But give me ten years, and I may change my mind. Likewise, consider changing your leadership style to fit the context of each situation and person. Perhaps one situation calls for a coaching style while another situation calls for a directive style. Regardless, it’s important to not only understand your preferred style but also utilize other leadership styles as appropriate.  

If you don’t wear them, somebody else will.

I guess it’s my fault for not hanging my jeans up but instead leaving them lying in a heap for my husband to accidentally grab. Regarding leadership, if you choose not to practice it, somebody else will. This is not to say that we all shouldn’t lead in various ways and at different times. It simply means that if we don’t take on our responsibilities fully, somebody else will—and happily.

Sometimes it is just better for somebody else.

Which brings us to the next point: Sometimes a role or responsibility would be better for somebody else to handle. Now I won’t go as far as to say that my sequined pants would look better on my husband (please, no), but I will go as far as to say that we should be wise and humble enough to know if and when to hand over a task or project to someone whose skills and talents are a better fit. We don’t have to be the best at everything.

Resolve to share.

Sometimes we can simply resolve to share. Pants, no. But socks and leadership, yes. Sharing within the organization—whether ideas, viewpoints, plans, knowledge, skills, talents, roles, and responsibilities—is generally a good “competency” to practice. Sharing empowers and engages others and makes them feel valued and appreciated.

So where does that leave us? Well, as for me, I suppose I’ll hand back those jeans. “Here, honey. These look good on you!”

Now, leader, tell me: Where does that leave you?

Filed Under: Career, Leadership, Relationships

35 Empowering Questions Leaders Ask

July 10, 2012 By Kimberly

As an executive and leadership coach, I have been trained in the art and power of asking good, thought provoking questions. For leaders who care about not just their organization’s success, but also the success of those they lead, here are thirty-five. And by the way, listening is required!  

  1. What do you think about that?
  2. What would you do if you were in my situation?
  3. How will you accomplish that?
  4. What’s your plan and timeframe?
  5. What parts of this plan/project/idea are you most passionate or enthusiastic about?
  6. What are your strengths or talents that either one of us is not leveraging?
  7. What should be the measures of success for this plan/project/idea?
  8. What motivates you the most?
  9. What new ideas do you have?
  10. What do you think this company or our team needs?
  11. What are we missing?
  12. What were you hoping to accomplish that you haven’t been able to do thus far?
  13. How do (or don’t) our values align with our organization’s vision and mission?
  14. What do you wish we would do more of or less of?
  15. If I could be doing something differently as a leader, what would I be doing?
  16. What’s keeping you here?
  17. What opportunities should we be exploring?
  18. What part in this plan/project/idea would you like? 
  19. What could we be doing better?
  20. How would you like me to lead you or this team?
  21. How will I know this objective has been accomplished?
  22. How will I know if you need assistance?
  23. What resources do you need from me?
  24. What makes you feel engaged?
  25. If you could be doing anything in our organization right now, what would you be doing?
  26. What do you need to be successful?
  27. Who can help you?
  28. What resources are you not utilizing?
  29. What should you be delegating, and to whom?
  30. If you could learn more about anything that would help you or the organization become more successful, what would you learn?
  31. What time of day do you work best?
  32. When do you most feel a part of the team?
  33. What makes you feel valued and appreciated?
  34. What kind of feedback would you find helpful?
  35. What makes you feel empowered to do your best?

Try asking a few of these questions the next time you meet with a colleague or direct report. You may surprise them, but you will make them feel valued and appreciated.

Filed Under: Career, Leadership, Relationships

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