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Blue Bridge Leadership

Executive Coaching, Career Coaching, Training, Leadership Development, Professional Development

A Twinkie Lesson in Recognition and Appreciation

November 5, 2012 By Kimberly

She’s been given life, and the only favor I wanted was her Twinkie. Luscious, puffy golden sunshine cake surrounding creamy white goodness.

But no, do you think she could share her delectables? My daughter transformed into a hyena, snapping her jaws at me, protecting the treats she received from a recent church party.

Does she not realize I’ve given her the best gift of all—her very own life? Does she consider how I’ve bathed her, fed her empty belly, read her Green Eggs and Ham so many times that now I’m even willing to eat the month-old greenish ham in the fridge?

Yeah, right. No parade. No banners shouting out my motherly goodness. I was only asking for a Twinkie, the one that lay like a shining, yellow star atop a heap of Milky Ways, suckers, and licorice. Just a small treat, an expression of her gratitude for all she had.

Sometimes, it’s not the main things—like our jobs or our homes or life, itself—but the little things that make us feel valued, appreciated, and significant.

Do you demonstrate your appreciation toward others?

Do you express how much you value your family, colleagues, and friends? Do they know their significance?

Sure, your employees are grateful for their jobs. But could they be longing for something more from you—a written thank you note, an afternoon off, a cheering word, accolades for a job well done?

What about your spouse? You pay the bills, you’ve remained faithful, you come home for supper every night—yes, all big things. But what about the little tokens of appreciation—the kiss hello, the massage of aching shoulders, the taking over of chores?

Often, it’s the little things that count.

It wasn’t so much the Twinkie that I wanted. What I really wanted was the sacrifice from my daughter, demonstrating how blessed she felt, so much so that she was willing to part with the crowning jewel of her candy pile.

But she didn’t. Being eight years old, she has much to learn. We all do, I suppose. So what did I do? I did what any good mother would do. I stole it when she went to bed. Inhaled it right up. Like I said, she has much to learn, and it’s my privilege—no, my job—to help her along the way.

Filed Under: Leadership, Purposeful Living, Relationships

Are You Bottled from the Source?

October 11, 2012 By Kimberly

I fondly remember a client who frequently told me and the other women in my coaching program that she was “bottled from the source”—in other words, made in the image of God.

I can’t think about her without a smile on my face, because she is one of those who lights up a room, encourages the heart, and inspires the soul. I can’t help but guess that her joy comes from knowing she was made for a purpose.

Are you bottled from the source?

And if so, what are the ramifications of such powerful knowledge?

I’ll admit. I stand high atop my platform on this very issue—that fact that you have been bottled from the source, and yes, with that comes not only great blessing but also great responsibility.

First, if you’re made in the image of God, then how can you not succeed? I’m not talking about your ability to achieve anything and everything. I’m talking about knowing that if God has led you down a certain path, He will provide the resources for your journey.

Second, you are not alone! He is always with you—comforting you, guiding you, disciplining you, and blessing you.

Third, you were created to do a grand work. Should you be a Martin Luther King Jr. or a Mother Teresa? Why not? Or better, why not be who you were designed to be? I am convinced that we all long for a deep sense of meaning and contribution to this world. What is yours?

And finally, if you’re bottled from the source, you’ll never go thirsty.

Think about that.

Filed Under: Faith and Spirituality, Purposeful Living

Work-Life Balance: A Love-Hate Relationship

October 2, 2012 By Kimberly

“I just want to run away from it all!” Jenny remembered saying to herself as she drove home from work. After relaying bad news to two of her patients, a lunch break that was anything but, a pile of forms to complete, and a phone call from her son’s school saying he was in trouble—again, she had had it. As she sat through several red lights, she imagined herself arriving home to starving children, fixing a casserole, kissing the kids good night, washing the dishes, and packing her bags to the Bahamas, Spain, the hotel down the road, anywhere. So long work! I’ll miss you children! I wish you luck, my dear, sweet husband.

Jenny is like most professionals I know—women and men alike: busy, ragged, and torn in several directions. We want it all—our careers, our families, our lifestyle. Yet time is not our friend. There never seems to be enough.

But what if time were our friend

—the driving force that makes us prioritize? Inherently, we know that time is our most treasured resource. The sense that the clock is ticking away motivates us to hug our kids, rub our spouse’s shoulders, laugh with friends, and work hard.

Work hard—that’s the kicker, because we are torn between work and our other life. However, we can reduce our stress and have an abundant, joyful life if we strive for balance.

Inquire about Your Work Options.

Check with your employer to see if other options exist, such as telecommuting, job sharing, flex hours, or a compressed workweek. Even if those options don’t exist, create a proposal that lists benefits to the company. You can’t receive if you don’t ask.

Set Boundaries.

As a professional executive leadership coach, I work with clients who are so driven to succeed that they often take work home with them. Don’t let your relationships, your health, and your sense of well being suffer. Leave work at work. Turn off your cell phone. Set a time for your last email check of the evening and stick with it. If that’s not possible, set boundaries you can commit to, so you can enjoy a family walk or a weekly board game. Wouldn’t you like to linger over conversation at the dinner table? Engage in tickle fights?

Make a List.

Finish this sentence: “If I achieved better work-life balance, I would….” Would you take tango lessons? Serve at a soup kitchen? Make a list of the things you would do, and then schedule them on the calendar, just as you would a doctor appointment.  Do it now. Don’t wait, or life will happen. It always does.

Give It the Thirty-Day Test:

Ask yourself, “If I received the devastating news that I only had thirty days left to live, what would my life look like?” If you choose how to spend your time wisely through this lens, your sense of balance will improve. Life is about priorities. Do only what’s necessary. Step off the committee if you must. Cut back on your kids’ sports. Let others pick up the slack. Simplify and thrive.

Rest, Reflect, Rejuvenate.

Are you in desperate need of a few days off? We all are! You were never meant to be a superhero, so stop acting like one. The world will not end if you stop to enjoy the beauty around you. So let’s take our own advice and meet our need for quiet, solitude, reflection, rest, and play. We will then be healthier and better able to meet the needs of those we love and serve.

Work-life balance is no accident. So I challenge you to set aside a few hours this week to create a plan you can implement successfully. Ahhhhh. Now doesn’t that feel better already?

What about you, reader? What strategies do you employ for work-life balance? Put your comments below.

Filed Under: Career, Health and Wellness, Purposeful Living

5 Ways Prayer Can Transform Your Life

August 28, 2012 By Kimberly

Coffee and prayer. Like cookies and milk. Simplicity and perfection wrapped up together. Most of my mornings start out with a read from the Bible or devotional, a hot mug of coffee, and quiet time spent in prayer and reflection.

Not always, but most.

I have not always been the best pray-er—too busy for God, too tired for an honest one-on-one, too frustrated from the daily complications of life. But over the last two years, I have tried to make prayer a priority. And the more I’ve incorporated prayer, the greater peace and sense of purpose I’ve had. Specifically, I have discovered that prayer can transform lives in at least five ways:

Prayer humbles us.

It’s all about me. You knew that, right? Oh wait. I bet it’s all about you. We all have a tendency to believe this way, even if we don’t say it outright. Think about it. How many times in a conversation do you say the word “I?” I bet all our thoughts somehow relate to us, right? Or am I the only one?

I love how prayer humbles us. When I pray, I pray for my children, my extended family, my business associate who has cancer, my neighbor who just had back surgery, the impoverished of my city. Prayer humbles me when I reflect on others: their desires, their needs, their hurts, their stumbling blocks. Prayer offers me a way to get beyond myself to others, and to what really matters most.  

Prayer engages us.

Prayer engages me to my Father. When I ask my kids, “Would you think that I loved you if I never spent time with you? If I never spoke to you?” Of course the answer is “No!” It’s the same way with prayer. When I pray, I am speaking to God. I am engaging with Him intimately. He is not distant. I can communicate with and relate to Him on a personal level. How freeing to know that I am so loved!

 Prayer ignites us.

Prayer ignites reverence and passion. Prayer reminds me of not just His goodness and mercy, but His holiness. He inspires awe. Similarly, the act of a simple prayer produces passion—for His people, for His purposes, for Himself. Like a fiery spark that spreads, prayer stirs my heart in so many different life areas: my career, my relationships, my mission, and my values.

Prayer aligns us.

I admit I want to do things my way. I find that prayer, however, shifts my perspective to God’s perspective. His ways become my ways. His purposes become my purposes. Prayer aligns us to Him. When I don’t pray, I start walking away, taking the detour from the path God has laid out for me. When I do pray, I see how far I’ve strayed, and I can’t help but run back into His arms.

Prayer grows us.

Prayer isn’t just about speaking. It’s not a litany of requests or pleas for help. Prayer may be more about listening. Those who stop talking and start listening are those who learn and grow the most. God has so much to say back to us—if only we would shut our mouths and quiet our hearts. When is the last time you’ve set aside a substantial amount of time to not only talk but to listen?

He’s speaking to you. Are you willing to hear?

Filed Under: Faith and Spirituality, Purposeful Living, Relationships

Zipline-Style Leadership: Screaming “Ahhhhh!” and Loving It (Part 2)

August 21, 2012 By Kimberly

So last time I talked about the first four lessons about zipline-style leadership based on my personal ziplining experience in my group coaching program “Discover Your Passions, Live Your Purpose, Leave Your Legacy.” (Yep, that’s me getting ready!) Here they are:

  1. Thinking about it is worse than doing it.
  2. The first step off is always the hardest.
  3. Baby-step it if you must.
  4. Your team is waiting on you.

Now, here are four more lessons:

New view, new perspective.

Well, it’s worth repeating: It really is hard to see the forest for the trees. Walking along the path until we reached each line, I couldn’t help but witness the quiet, majestic beauty of trees. They stood upright like soldiers, branches swaying in the gentle breeze, their feet planted firmly in the moss-covered earth. Eighty feet up was a different story. No longer did the trees grab my attention, but I sought out the curve of the valleys, the wildlife hiding amongst the brush, the possibility of a stream.

Sure, I’m asking the obvious, but what are the trees of your life, the ones you’re standing so close to that you can’t see the bigger picture? And if you were standing atop the mountain of your career (or life, for that matter), what would be your view? Do you need a fresh perspective? Do you need to get out of the trenches and climb high so you can see? 

Play it safe, and you’ll miss out.

Ironically, my brand is about adventurous leadership and adventurous living because I want—no, need—to have a no-excuse reason to get out of my comfort zone so I can pursue personal and professional excellence. Did you get that? No excuse. I’ve lots of excuses, and probably so do you, why I should play it safe.

Yet, playing it safe can actually be a form of failure. Were I to have played it safe, I would have stayed home and missed the rush. Have fun everyone else! Let me know how your adventure goes! Wish I could (ahem) join you!

Opportunities only present themselves when you’re looking, when you’re willing to truly see, when you’re willing to step outside your box—regardless of risk—to experience life and work anew.

A higher, more thrilling adventure awaits.

Once the zip tour was over, I was ready for something bigger and better. Zipline? Puh-lease! That’s nothing! I’m ready for bungee jumping. Well, maybe not bungee jumping, but parasailing perhaps?

Likewise, one risk leads to the next, and soon enough you’ve become an adventurous leader, in the workplace or otherwise. Don’t settle for good enough; strive for excellence. Keep seeking, because great rewards are always around the corner.

The ride is fast.

The one disappointment from ziplining is that the ride is too fast. Before you know it, it’s time to go home. Yes, the thrill and challenge was satisfying, but too soon the adventure was over.

Your career adventure will be over before you know it too. Are you taking enough risk? Are you confronting the challenges? Are you basking in the rewards? Are you making the most use of your time? Leadership is part of your overall legacy. Where are you going? Who are you taking along for the ride? And for what ultimate purpose?

So there you have it: Leadership—zipline-style. Unfortunately, you can only learn so much from my experiences. Really, you’ve got to get out and explore for yourself.

Your comments and ideas? Put them in the box below.

Filed Under: Career, Leadership, Purposeful Living, Relationships

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